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Confessions of an Angry Beige Nerd

Recently, some folks have argued against “angry white males” being part of fandom and a whole bunch of other things, some of which weren’t very nice. We at Otherwhere Gazette decided that, in the interest of fairness, would take the opportunity to talk to the Angry Beige Nerd. (We wouldn’t want to get accused of racism for using the dreaded word “white” now would we.”

OG: Mr. Nerd, we want to thank you for sitting down with us today.

ABN: Sure thing. It’s either that, or I have to clean my room. My mom’s been riding my butt over that for a few days now.

OG: We certainly understand. So, first, there are a lot of people claiming that you’re misogynistic due to the whole #GamerGate thing. Why do you hate women?

ABN: I don’t. I mean, I hate it when they shoot me down for some guy with chiseled abs, then complain to me that they can’t find a nice guy. It’s annoying, because it’s like they’re telling me I’m chopped liver, that I’m not a “guy”. But hate women? Why would I do that?

OG: Well, what about the alleged death threats against people like Brianna Wu and Anita Sarkeesian?

ABN: You got me. [shrugging] I didn’t do it. Most of my friends didn’t either. You get some jerks in any crowd. I mean, didn’t you get a bunch of death threats because you wanted Piers Morgan to go back to England and the “idiotic” gun laws he loved so much?

OG: Yeah. It was an interesting New Years Day, let me tell ya.

ABN: The thing is, you didn’t label all progressives as homicidal, did you?

OG: No, not that I can recall. It was a while back though, so…

ABN: So why am I being labeled as misogynistic because I think gaming journalism needs to hold itself a bit more accountable? It’s ridiculous.

OG: Some are arguing that the problem with #GamerGate is that you’re trying to support the objectification of women in games.

ABN: Yeah, I’m not really sure what they’re talking about on that. Most of the games I play give you a chance to play as either male or female, and some even let you experiment with alternate sexualities. Hell, if you wanted, you could probably pretend your character is trans and no one would give a damn.

What I hate is when they’re complaining about games I love, and acting like I’m somehow wrong because I don’t want to stop playing those games. How about they create some games that are awesome, but hit all their check boxes. They manage that, and I’ll probably play it.

OG: Didn’t the whole thing blow up regarding Zoe Quinn’s game Depression Quest? Isn’t that a case of someone trying to do just that?

ABN: Yeah, I gave DQ a try. It’s the first game I actively wanted to lose. I kept praying for an option that would let me put a pistol in my mouth and pull the trigger. If that’s the best this crowd can manage, I’ll stick with Bioware.

OG: Okay, let’s shift gears just a bit. You’re also a fan of science fiction and fantasy, right?

ABN: Oh yeah, I love it.

OG: You told me before you were familiar with the Sad Puppies slate?

ABN: Yep, and I’m supportive. Generally, at least.

OG: There are some arguments that you and your friends aren’t really part of “fandom” and are intruding where you’re not wanted.

ABN: I hate to break it to those folks, but for a long time, we were fandom. Yeah, there are a lot of folks who aren’t white and male who are part of fandom these days, and that’s a good thing. The problem is, now they’re trying to purge anyone who doesn’t want to bow to their whims. I’m sorry, but wasn’t fandom about being a fan, first and foremost?

These days, they’re whining about this and that, and they’re pretty quick to try and push an agenda that has nothing to do with being a fan of science fiction or fantasy. It’s like the thing with Adam Baldwin. They’re going to boycott a con because he’ll be there. Um…he’s not going to even raise an eyebrow at them.

OG: Well, his support of GamerGate-

ABN: Yeah, he supports GamerGate…because he thinks gaming journalists with ties to game developers should either have to disclose that tie, or not cover games those developers crank out. Yeah, absolutely horrifying.

OG: Okay, let’s get back to science fiction and fantasy. What do you see as the problems there?

ABN: Oh, just that the stuff they’re ready to give awards to blows. They’ve gotten it into their head that science fiction and fantasy books should be all “literary” and maybe they’ll get the love of the literary establishment instead of being viewed as a genre for kids.

OG: Is that such a bad thing?

ABN: If you like that sort of thing, probably not. However, sales of science fiction and fantasy seem to be dropping based on the complaints of low profits from the publishers, yet they keep trying to turn out this crap. I mean, really? Meanwhile, the stuff a lot of us want to read, they’re not interested in publishing.

OG: What about the Hugo Awards? Some think the issue you had with Ancillary Justice, which won both the Nebula and the Hugo last year was because of the idea of all feminine pronouns.

ABN: No, my problem with it was that it’s the only thing on Earth that I found that made me want to play Depression Quest again.

OG: Now, a lot of people love it.

ABN: Good for them. I thought it was freaking awful.

OG: But the Hugo and Nebula voters loved it. There’s no way around that.

ABN: No, there isn’t. But the Nebula’s are voted on by writers, many of whom want to be respected by people who are never going to respect them, and the Hugo’s are voted on by a couple thousand folks. It’s not really representative necessarily of what people are actually reading and really digging.

OG: Alright. Now onto society in general. There are some that think the “nerd” is dead, due to the popularity of things like video game tournaments and the huge box office movies like The Avengers and Guardians of the Galaxy bring in.

ABN: I’ll try and remember that the next time the football team stops by and wedgies me so badly my underoos are flossing my teeth.

OG: I’m being serious here.

ABN: I am too. Being a “nerd” or a “geek” or whatever term you prefer isn’t about whether you’re doing something that other people like. It’s deeper than that. We don’t choose to be nerds. It’s just how we’re wired. It’s really nice of some so-called journalist thinks we don’t really exist anymore.

OG: Fair enough. What about the whole “fake geek girl” thing from about a year ago?

ABN: Hey, if you think you’re one of us, but all you want to do is dress up as characters from things you can’t even hold a conversation on, you’ll pardon me if I’m skeptical.

OG: But is it really fair?

ABN: Honestly? Probably not. But for a lot of us, when a cute girl starts showing interest in things we’re interested in, there’s bound to be a bucket of pig’s blood in our future.

OG: That’s kind of a cynical view of stuff.

ABN: Have you ever had to set up housekeeping in a gym locker?

OG: Going back to fandom for a moment, what do you think is the problem?

ABN: I think some people weren’t hugged enough by their parents myself.

OG: I mean, regarding claims of misogyny.

ABN: Beats me. I’ve always thought women were just as capable as men and should be given ample opportunity, but I don’t think you correct past wrongs by repeating them with the roles flipped. Then again, every time one of them screams “misogyny”, I want to tell them to get their butts back in the kitchen and to fix me a sandwich. Which is weird because I actually prefer to make my own sandwiches.

OG: Oh?

ABN: Yeah. Mom doesn’t use enough mayo.

OG: Well, thanks for your time. Would you be willing to talk to us later, as new situations come up?

ABN: Oh, absolutely. Especially if I can schedule it to get out of cutting the grass. I hate that crap.

OG: Sounds good. We’ll talk to you later.

ABN: Later.

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25 comments on “Confessions of an Angry Beige Nerd

  1. So, I see you’ve met my son. Except of course for the bit about jocks… He’s one of those too through NROTC.

    Like

  2. Ironically, those of us who are true “geek girls” are hated and shunned by the same types.
    But then, I am a grandmother, and was in science when there were few women in science. I went through hell…you think that the comment on the scientist with a girly shirt was bad? Try being ridiculed for wearing old clothes (which you wore because you are going to chem lab), or nasty remarks about your being a failure because you are home (studying for an Organic chemistry final) and not going out on a date.

    yet I had little problem with the guys (maybe because I grew up with brothers) than with these types. Got harassed? Harass them back with a practical joke, and you have a friend forever…

    in other words, this is about power, not games or science fiction. They feel inferior to real talent, so use Alinsky methods to take over the institutions/groups…And once they take over a group, they use ridicule, ostracism, etc. to prove they are superior to you.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Oh, how I wish I’d have had a chance to talk to you during the “shirtstorm” debacle.

      And you’re right. Snap right back, get us to laugh with you, and you’ve got a loyal friend. Geek guys are like puppies that way. 😀

      Like

      • Entirely accurate. I like nothing more than someone who can throw back a verbal jab, bonus points if it matches the reference I make at the time.

        Thankfully, I haven’t met one of the “SJW” types over where I live, since I’m prone to being very edgy with my retorts if the person trying to honestly put words in my mouth. I wouldn’t be the one running and crying. I hate making people cry, even if they deserve it.

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        • Honestly? They tend to keep quiet in real life, unless they’re in large groups. They have a very real and palpable fear of those who disagree with them, despite the fact that we have no intention of doing anything worse than telling them off.

          You may actually know a couple of SJW’s, but they keep it quiet among their real life associates. However, get them on Tumblr, and WHOA BABY! 😀

          Like

  3. Heh. Women boycotting a con which Adam Baldwin will attend because they “wouldn’t feel safe”. Now, that brings up three very interesting possibilities. First, that these women are some kind of uber-fragile, incredibly delicate hothouse flowers who can’t even be in the same block-sized building with a man and not feel somehow at risk, and in the face of thousands of nerds who would happily suffer death in protecting a woman if she’d just smile at them, the silly, sad twits. Look, Justin Bieber could be safe in a convention that John Wayne Gacy attended; plus none of these women strike me as fragile (other than emotionally), and certainly not the type who would flutter with the vapors because a particular man was present, so I kinda doubt this one.

    The second possibility is that these women are brazenly lying in their version of agitprop kabuki. The loudest and most quotable of these feminists militant are quite experienced Alinskyites who do nothing if not for political effect. They know what buttons to push and what buzzwords will get the media yakking, and then they get the right quiver in their voices and it all follows a well-used script. We’re getting warmer. The whole I’m-so-afraid-of-Adam-Baldwin campaign is must too hilarious for words. Still, not every one of these women is a hard-bitten lying bitch completely bereft of honesty. So there’s room for a third possibility.

    Which is that Adam Baldwin has the most powerful man mojo in the world. This is clearly the answer. Adam Baldwin has so much extra double primo good manliness that it just rolls off him like sweat, like pheromones in an anthill. Which after all, is what any assemblage of women most resembles. Adam must have one of those incredibly dangerous penises which is a threat to enslave women even in a fully clothed public situation among thousands of witnesses, and even when Baldwin himself has absolutely no intent to seduce anyone. And yet these women are terrified of how they’re going to behave, even hundreds of yards away from the man, obviously because they know they very well might lose control and humiliate themselves right there in public. Lovers will leave their boyfriends; wives will betray their husbands; grandmothers will rediscover their youth; lesbians will take a walk on the mild side. Yes, their lives could be turned upside down, and all because they were within several hundred yards of a kavorka so powerful that Cosmo Kramer could only dream about it. That is some powerful mojo. And that is the real reason behind the boycott.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I think I have to agree with you. Having been around Adam in real life, though briefly, I could sense it even though I am a penis possessing individual.

      And this was before any of the #GamerGate stuff, which has only ramped up his already impressive mojo. Now? I can only imagine the horrors he could unleash. 😀

      Like

    • The Lou Reed reference slays.

      Like

  4. Oops. I snort laughed at this:

    “OG: But is it really fair?

    ABN: Honestly? Probably not. But for a lot of us, when a cute girl starts showing interest in things we’re interested in, there’s bound to be a bucket of pig’s blood in our future.”

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hey, count me as another nerd-girl. And reasonably attractive, or so I’ve been led to believe. As a nerd, I never really paid much attention to chick-style preening and the like.
    So, to me, the issue about a cute chick paying attention is not about whether she is cute, or a chick. It’s about whether she’s a nerd or a poser. A poser may be innocent – just checking out the ‘other side of the tracks’ b/c she’s on a break from her usual jock-fare. Or she may be someone with an agenda that she’s not even aware of and that may come back to bite you.
    Don’t fear the nerd-girl just b/c she’s cute – and may have had to develop some un-nerd-like social skills in order to fit in (or at least try to).
    Rest assured, if she’s really a nerd, she’s felt isolated, different, like a misfit. In short -she’s felt just like the average nerd-guy. Because nerds are wired different (I totally agree with the above-commenter who pointed that out). And yes, I am differentiating from geeks here. Although generalities are shit and there is also overlap, nonetheless, there is some usefulness here – there certainly was for me – and as a matter of fact, it’s relevant to the ‘cute chick seeking out nerdy guys’ point.
    One of the things that differentiates between geeks and nerds is that a geek fits in with all sorts. S/he may be obsessively interested in a particular topic (”geeking-out’ on it, as the saying goes) – but in short, a geek is a regular person with a deep-shit mental obsession/hobby. As such, geeky girls and guys have no trouble hanging out with regular people – and pairing up with them as well. They have good clothes, normal social skills, and generally normal intelligence – in quantity as well as quality. They have just thrown themselves into a particular topic.
    A nerd (guy or girl, no matter) is wired differently. It’s not about being obsessively interested in any one topic (though that’s not off the table). It’s about a type of intelligence – a deep, curious and analytical intelligence – that runs across the board. They tend to live internally, inhabiting the world of thoughts and ideas. They might be deeply emotional people (and very sensitive as well), but may not show it – or show it differently than others in the ‘normal’ world. They tend to be self-protective, because they (and unfortunately others) are well-aware that they are different – and they often have paid a price for that different-ness. In addition, their high intelligence may be paired (often is) with some kind of learning-difference, meaning they might not have fit in at all, or been able to achieve in the conventional way, in a typical one-size-fits-all learning environment. A nerd might have had (I certainly have had) the experience of feeling like the smartest and at the same time, the dumbest person in the classroom.
    The pursuits of the ‘normal’ world may seem to them as being shallow and superficial. They don’t necessarily judge it (as they tend to be non-judgmental – able to see all facets of any issue) – but they sure as shit don’t relate to shallower pursuits the way ‘normals’ do.
    Well, I’m almost done with my rant. Anyway – the point is, nerds seek out other nerds. This is true as well when it comes to chicks seeking out guys to pair with. A fellow nerd is someone who understands. Someone who is gentle and sensitive. Someone who knows what it’s like to fee like a misfit. As a single (now adult) woman – it took me a long time to realize that I wasn’t going to mesh with (or be interested in) guys who fit the ‘normal’ profile. Even smart guys. They just wouldn’t understand what it was like to live in my cranium or in my outside life (dropping out of high-school b/c of a difficult childhood and an inability to learn in the typical style – going on to earn three degrees as an adult, despite never getting the HS diploma or even GED… Still never quite fitting in as a grown woman in the ‘normal’ world….
    So yeah – it’s not about what a girl/woman/chick looks like – its about what’s going on inside. Who she is.
    So yeah – after a disastrous marriage to an abusive guy whose favorite method was making me feel like even more of a misfit than I already knew I was – I’m still holding out for my nerd-guy in shining armor. Don’t want a normal. Don’t want an ‘alpha’ (but as someone who grew up with brothers, I may make friends with that alpha guy – but I won’t trust him with my heart…). Want that nerdy-but-sexy guy who has a gentle heart and good character… And a deep mind, of course.
    Hey – this has been cheaper than therapy – ha! Thanks for reading my rant if you’ve gotten this far. The basic point (other than me getting the chick-side of nerdiness off my chest) is that (in true nerd-fashion) – you have to look below the surface – with women as well as men… Take that nerdy ability to analyze before (or instead of) judging and really understand the people who have chosen to be a part of your world – or who are hermit-ing in their own little world, but who you run across in some setting where they have decided to leave their hobbit-hole for a moment and poke their nose into the world of other humans for a moment.
    Take a moment to listen to them, understand them. You may be surprised.

    TL:DR – Haha – ain’t gonna help you – gotta read it! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Sorry – this was one of those cases where I read without editing or correcting. First paragraph: The point of not preening was that I didn’t have a sense of my own attractiveness. Third paragraph: Should have read ‘Don’t fear the nerd-girl (the true nerd-girl, not a poser)…’ etc.
    Anywayz – I liked the article. It was funny. Btw, there are plenty of black nerd-guys and girls and brown and yellow as well. When I first read it, I thought the ‘beige’ reference was of someone who fades into the background (in nerd-style). I like the premise (interviewing a nerd – and btw, I’m happy to be a rep for chick-nerd-dom..) – just maybe there’s a way to include all nerd colors – and anyway, the nerd approach would be to look below the surface appearance of a person – so labeling by skin color isn’t really how many of us roll. Hope you don’t mind me saying.
    And nooooooo – we don’t give a shit about nerd-guy’s funny and cool pinup-print shirt – unless we are the nerd-chick who made it for him, in which case we are proud of it!
    Live long and prosper…. 🙂
    (and RIP Spock!)

    Liked by 2 people

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