I find that I often disagree with movie reviewers, so while I had seen several reviews of “Jupiter Ascending”, I was prepared to enjoy the movie, especially in 3D. Plus, Science fiction, exploding spaceships, adventure, HEY this is our kind of a movie, RIGHT?
Wrong. The cinematography was amazing. I’m not sure if the story is supposed to take place in the world of “War Hammer 40K” or not, but if not, the artists that designed the set and the big idea man behind the plot line were certainly HEAVILY influenced by the genre. Now that’s not a bad thing, the sets where fantastic, the whole design was a treat to the eyes. The 3d was quite possibly the best rendering I’ve seen, even the scenes where they could have gotten away with 2d (as many films have) where fully rendered, and quite good.
But that’s as far as it went. The acting is OK but not spectacular, if you could turn off your mind and just live in your eyes, this would be a decent movie — but depressingly — the story line makes sure that can’t happen. The plot could be used for a colander. My seventeen year old son was nudging me and asking “Did I fall asleep and miss him asking her, before she said no?” As my son put it, “you could drive Optimus Prime through the plot holes in this thing.”
Oh and then there’s the obligatory to modern Hollywood bit about “all capitalists are evil and would willingly kill everyone in the galaxy to make a buck.” Which 1) is over freaking done already, and 2) by the way it was done puts this show FIRMLY in the SJW, sparkly whohaa crowds camp, to the point that I am surprised that the critics didn’t like it, just for message.
Caution, SPOILER ALERT!
OK, I assume since you’re still reading, that you don’t care about the spoilers, so we’ll continue to discuss the plot, now that those who will go and see it anyway and care about spoilers have left the room.
Chamber maid turned princess (or in this case somewhere between queen and empress) and in love with the guy that saved her butt, who isn’t supposed to be marriage material, is a plot as old as the horse dung on Plato’s sandals and this retelling of it has nothing new, except for the ending… Chamber maid turned Empress, goes back to being chamber maid… for noble, and peoples, and stuff. (Pardon me while I hack up a hairball)
Look, I’m not saying she should have bought into the current regime’s plans, OH HELL NO. But, while staying the empress, go back to living on Earth and cleaning other people’s toilets? PLEEEEAAAASE! The twits that wrote this obviously never cleaned someone else’s toilets… (hey you don’t spend 20 years in the Navy without cleaning a couple shitters, been there done that, not on my list of fun occupations.) The whole thing makes the plots and science of Star Wars episode IV look like it was written by RAH, with science vetted by S. Hawking.
Find the second unit director, and the cinematography boys and give them something WORTH DOING, like oh say The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress, and tell the writers to go clean toilets for a living.